faith/love/promise?

if there a moment that can be rewind ,

i wished to go back to the moment when

i knew you for the first time,

so i can changed the fact that i can't live without you 

cause

and 
i DON'T GIVE A FUCK bout the distance ,
cause what really matter is you with me 
FOREVER .


___________________________________________________

for the time being ,
please believe me and have faith with what we have .

and i will make sure that you'll be loved by me only ,
no matter what its take to love you .


___________________________________________________

then you should know that

 Promises are worse than lies ,
because not only you made them believe in the possibilities
and you also gave them a glimpse of hope 
- unknown author .

what's really matter is ♥ .

there's a time

where i thought that something happens for a reason 

and the reason to happen weren't caused by me ,

i felt relieved and glad .

whom caused all the things that really precious for both of us ,

and its seem so hard for you to let it go by ,
to forgive me for my mistakes and chance to prove myself  .

then i knew that my words would be superfluous
even though I've tried to make things right again for us .

___________________________________________________


but did you ever remembered ,

the first promised that you made?

the one you stated that you will never hurt me .

then again 

and i felt for it .

just for you to know ,i lied because

i don't want you to know how much its hurt me .

___________________________________________________

at the ends of it,

what really matter is

and have the faith to do so when the time comes ,

appreciating you as it the last thing i would do

far most ,

to be deeply in love  with you .

and

___________________________________________________

just let it go .

" I'm happy for you ."

that is the hardest lie you ever told to a special someone from your past who found a new person to love .

___________________________________________________

a little something that i found
when i realize you have someone now
though i did tell you that " I LIKE YOU " so many times
when we 'talk' .

^ what i tried to learn and the one thing 
that keep me from being hopeless again .
but i just can't bare with the feeling i have for you .
one thing for sure is 
you don't have the same idea as i do  .

so,

i'm letting you go like you wanted but

there's something that i want you to know is . . .

a LITTLE faith .

it's been days since you 'talked' to me .
at first ,
it just felt like nothin' was wrong
and all seem in the right way
as you said ,
" everything will turns out okay in the end ."
but then ,

everything just out-off control
and everything i done was a mess .
things i does to kill time felt worthless
when i waited just for you to say the words .


i don't know what to think .
i just don't, though it's may not be the first time
i wish it's not the last .
i'm broken goods, that make me greats in words
but sucks in relationship,
i just don't want its to end .

i may be strong but deep inside ,
i'm just lonely lil'boy that want someone to be mine .
often i smiled like nothing's wrong
acted like everything in order
and remembered as it's was a dream .
in the end ,
i realize that i just can't forget and
willing to let it go though its been a while .

so,
i beg you to
let me in your arm
hold me tight and
never let me go
as for no matter what happen
in between us .

just AMAZING for me .

in the past few days ,
i met someone which is very interesting and have great personas .

seriously , i like that kinda type of people .
they tend to make our life's more cherish and colorful .

as we catch up to each other ,

we both realize that

the way we talk ,

the way we communicate ,

the way we see each other persona's just incredible .

and i never knew that i gonna make friend with 'someone' so fast .

this 'someone' just too amazing to be ignore .

for the moment , i thought that something is turning out right for me .

you're

therefore , can you

note from Lil'Heart

Since the first time i saw you,

i was petrified by 
sweet smile of yours,
that makes other envy .

The smile that 
vanish the unease of mind,
calm the tide of passion,
melt the coldness of heart,
and cherish the little life of mine .


your's smile are just too sincere,
the one without reason to be,
the one that superfluous than words ,
the only one shows true meaning of
serendipity of life .




as i love to see your smile every single days of mine,
sometimes its just not there .
as in the deepest parts of your heart,
your hid your's anxiety in life .




which make you unsure bout yourself ,
made you drowned in sea of misconceptions ,
threaten your root of beliefs ,
and led you to somewhere that even slightest sight of light can't pass through .

though i can't bare to see you live without soul as breath in lifeless air ,
i can't do anything as i wasn't the one ,
the one to look up upon ,
the one to be with ,
the one to fall in love with .


till this very day,
i just can only see you from far aside without being notice ,
and this feeling itself i kept a secret until the very moment
to let you know that
no matter how, what, and say bout you,
i'll always believe in you 
as i'll always love and like you for what you're .





one last thing i hopes from you is always to find a reasons to smile as
you're somebody's reason to smile .


P/S :

please hear me, dear GOD

make a midnight breeze that can 

blow off my feeling away ~
away from 

all this nonsense dreams,

all this silly thoughts,

and all this unwelcome imaginations .

please dear GOD,

let my dear midnight breeze,

to take me away,

as far away as it can go,

so i can learned 

to live freely unlike before,

to laugh for all the jokes that aren't funny to him,

to be touch by the warm love in my heart that was nothing to him,

and to able stand on my own without him by my side.

please dear GOD,

make my dear midnight breeze,

be my guidance,

to walk through the world.

be my path of life,

to overcome the obstacles.

be my last hope,

to save me from drowned in sea of sins.

please dear GOD,

let my dear midnight breeze ~

to take me away with it,

to the further side of the world,

where love is boundless and tender,

where joy is way of livings,

where laughter is a cure of  illnesses,

and where someone can rest assure without any doubtful thoughts.

Ooh GOD,

how i wish YOU can do all the thing i wishes for.

but it can't cause it's just a midnight breeze,

the one that pass through the night
regardless of anyone to notice it.

but one thing for sure,

it will always blow off my uneasiness with its delicate breeze.

perhaps that the only thing that it's able to do for like of me,dear GOD,

is to blow a delicate breeze of air that shove off all the problem in the world,

so no one will be burdensome by their problem too long.

that is how i want my dear midnight breeze to be know for.