this FEELING .

alone, neglected, sadness, ignorance,

 and all others feeling .

its felt like almost long time ago when i started to felt this  feeling again .

the feeling,

that bring out the worst of me.

the feeling,

that engulfing myself awareness.

the feeling,

that made me who i am today.

these are the very feeling,

that shown me the true side of human nature's .

_______________________________________________

to most people,

they just don't even tried 

to understand this feeling ,

to learn about it,

to acknowledge it,

to them,

its just a feeling that would gone away just by not thinking bout it .

but no!

it won't just gone away like that .

_______________________________________________

its a feeling which really hard to explain,

but easily felt within someone heart .

they might not even realize

how difficult it's to control this feeling ?

how bizarre this feeling is ?

how complicated to calm it by itself ?

soon they will realize something,

that they have never really lived

until they have done something for someone

who can't never repay for what they done .

so,

don't worry b'cause

everything will be alright in

the end .

If its not alright ,

its not the end .

perhaps its just only the beginning of your own story .

therefore,

don't let one dark cloud obliterate the whole sky .

and remember ,

people cry not b'cause they were weak .

it's just b'cause they've been strong too long .

let the feeling free from thee hearts and

learn from it then make its yours .

Only me .

i learned to forget the one who forgot me ,
i learned to forgive everyone who hurt me ,
i learned to be the best for every person i love ,
However ,there something can't be learnt which ,

must learned to SMILE when people LOVE others .

_________________________________________________________

simple quote that i favor the most .
there were some people 
said that is something wrong with me?
maybe there is .
perhaps i missed being miss ,
maybe that the reasons why .


Why i cried all night with no reason ,
Why i smiled when nobody there ,
Why i felt loneliness inside 'here' ,
Why i felt heavy burden when there isn't .


was there a way to pull out this feeling?
was there a way to kill this feeling?
was there a way to make it all right?
was there a way to stop this feeling?


i don't think i have the answer to all the questions above ,
or maybe i does .
if it's an answer to all my questions up there ,
it's would b'cause i'm very hurts .





i hurt some much that i felt numb ,
to every words u said ,
to every sentences u made ,
to every excused u used ,
to every last thing u did to me .








but still ,
i say " it's nothing " although it was something .
i lied b'cause i don't want u to know
how much it's hurt me .



 
perhaps ,
this is the END of our stories ,
together .
but

therefore ,
i would walked away from all this " story of us " ,
and make a new one .
this time around it's gonna be " only me " in it .

me + no one .

there something that been bugging me ,
something that no one could ever understands .
its bout something that unease me within myself .


make me been misunderstood as a teenage .
perhaps this happen to all teenage but,
when i discuss it with someone ,
he/she seem to don't get it .
they just seem lost .

it just make me even worse .
worse and worse each time it appear in my heart .
it just won't go away ,
even with pills .


my heart kept tearin' apart ,
feeling lonely ,
unsecured ,
and anxiety of what might happen if . . . .
it just kept bugging me .



i start to question every thing i done ,
every move i make ,
every single thing i does in this world ,
just kept asking ,
'why am i live in this world if i don't have anyone to share it with?'




maybe i'm meant to be alone .
maybe i'm meant to be depressive .
maybe i'm meant to be love beggar .
maybe i'm meant to be hate .
maybe i'm meant to be no one .



the feeling exist in me maybe
b'cause am suited being alone ,
that none would ever noticed am here .
all by myself .
without anyone
by my-side .


something that people only know to talk bout ,
but don't felt it by their own .
something that people realize ,
but to late to understand .
something people wish they knew ,
but it over when they do .







lastly ,
am not a typical boy
that believe love is the answer to all my questions .
am just to tired being alone and ,
that's who i am actually .

Sorry for the INCOHERENT .

it just like yesterday that i felt love once more,
for some moment,
i really thought that we might be together ,
yet i jumped to the conclusion too early .

i just realize how much alike differ we're  ,
and i just can't say that i NEED you even when i do .
i just know that we can't be TOGETHER b'cause
we're not meant for each other and for that ,

this might happen to fast for both of us ,
we didn't know each other the best .
we didn't know each other well .
most important ,
we didn't know that love did exist between us and ,
its just went away in breeze air before we even know it .
b'cause of that ,

like taylor swift lyrics ,
' so many thing that i wish u knew but the story of us might be ending soon . ' but

i really hope that,
next time if we ever meet again,
we'll be friend first then next step
b'cause
 i can't handle another heartbreak once again .

be mine again,please?

its has been long time sine the day i meet u .
actually, i never knew how was ur face look it,
what ur favorite color,
what on ur mind,
and so much more i don't know bout u ,
but something for sure i know is there is . . .

 

i so in love with u even though i never knew u that much ,

i just know ur name, ur birthday , and above all,

i know when is our lil' ANNIVERSARY .

the day i know u is the happiest day of my life .
i start to love u since then,
start to love u,
start to miss u,
start to like u,
start to need u,
most sweetest thing is start to be yours .

but there something that keep bothering me,

were i'm perfect for u?
were i'm good enough for u?
were i'm the one for u?
far most,were i meant for u?

later i realize that we're to differ from each other,
but people do said that 'differences make perfect couple'.

it seem they were wrong after all when u left me

clueless, questioning, thinking, wandering 
in this cruel set of world alone .







ever since,i been searching for u n our love ,
even though its like worthless to find something that lose it's light
but  i never give up even for a moment .
because of that, i never found anyone that love me as u do .

until the fated day,

i will always look for u .



this is dedicated to someone that really meant a lot to me .
hope that this person saw this.

Who's ur FREINDS actually(?)

hey yaa fellow !!
now its rainy seasons at my place,
well,actually this state rains a lot,i tell yaa . . .
seem the clouds were "crying" all day here.
no one to persuade him to stop crying i guess?!

today's topic is FAKER as friends.
its seem to be a trends in my place,here at @#&$*!~% .
i never knew that tis culture have been spreadin' worldwide?!
Hahahaa, just kidding,i knew its as long as live in tis miserable world (!)
tis so called bitches were the first group of people i met here.








at first,they were quite a friend,
everything we're doin' TOGETHER (!)
nothing was left behind.
until one day,
they decided to let me wandered in their own words,
as am an outsider in their group which not really IMPORTANT.

I DON'T MINDS(?) actually but,
what really annoyed me is they seem HAPPY doin' so to others as well.
tis caught my attentions to write tis post.



hey,so stuck'd-up bitch !
please look deep inside of ur heart,
opss! seem  don't have one as u keep fooling around with ur story(!)
we don't need u as our friends as u bitchin' around.



hell yes!!
served u right in the face if someday u'll be abandoned by ur so called BFF's.
truth is tis post was actually tell us to pick up real friends,
as we move along the phases of our life.

and as i write,
we have to realize that it becomes less important
to have more friends,
but more important to have REAL ones.


so,CHOOSE ur's smartly cause
they might will help u in time of needs.



















today's quote,

whre i belong to ?

a simple hey to greet all of u,



its seem that i haven't posted anythng since get a chance to further my study.
well, as u know it . .
i just want to be a simple person in this world and dedicate my life for something really specials n dear to myself. FULLSTOP !!

enough bout me,
there something that really bother me . . .
something bout someplace whre we can share and love everyone or anyone that we cherish with.

i been searchin' for tis place since i knew the meaning being love and to be loved.
quite fascinating to me bout how bout u guy's?
would u'll like a place whre we can life fully with our heart with out any concern bout others??

therefore,
i'll tell u whre the place is . .  .

yeah,
actually the place is in my heart . .
i don't realize it until someone dear to me say tis,
" it's COURAGE to follow ur mind, but its take everything to follow ur HEART. "

at first i don't get it,
but later that day,i seem to get it . . .
we doesn't need people to get to know ourselves,
we actually just need a time of our own.

then i found 'that' place in my heart,
there is nothing but loneliness and heartbroken inside.
maybe that's why am all alone in tis world,
cause i don't get to know myself before knowin' others.

so,
here am tellin; u'll thats knowin urself is the key to ur own happiness !

today's quote,
" Broken hearts don't have to die, it just need LOVE to comeback alive. "