this FEELING .

alone, neglected, sadness, ignorance,

 and all others feeling .

its felt like almost long time ago when i started to felt this  feeling again .

the feeling,

that bring out the worst of me.

the feeling,

that engulfing myself awareness.

the feeling,

that made me who i am today.

these are the very feeling,

that shown me the true side of human nature's .

_______________________________________________

to most people,

they just don't even tried 

to understand this feeling ,

to learn about it,

to acknowledge it,

to them,

its just a feeling that would gone away just by not thinking bout it .

but no!

it won't just gone away like that .

_______________________________________________

its a feeling which really hard to explain,

but easily felt within someone heart .

they might not even realize

how difficult it's to control this feeling ?

how bizarre this feeling is ?

how complicated to calm it by itself ?

soon they will realize something,

that they have never really lived

until they have done something for someone

who can't never repay for what they done .

so,

don't worry b'cause

everything will be alright in

the end .

If its not alright ,

its not the end .

perhaps its just only the beginning of your own story .

therefore,

don't let one dark cloud obliterate the whole sky .

and remember ,

people cry not b'cause they were weak .

it's just b'cause they've been strong too long .

let the feeling free from thee hearts and

learn from it then make its yours .

Only me .

i learned to forget the one who forgot me ,
i learned to forgive everyone who hurt me ,
i learned to be the best for every person i love ,
However ,there something can't be learnt which ,

must learned to SMILE when people LOVE others .

_________________________________________________________

simple quote that i favor the most .
there were some people 
said that is something wrong with me?
maybe there is .
perhaps i missed being miss ,
maybe that the reasons why .


Why i cried all night with no reason ,
Why i smiled when nobody there ,
Why i felt loneliness inside 'here' ,
Why i felt heavy burden when there isn't .


was there a way to pull out this feeling?
was there a way to kill this feeling?
was there a way to make it all right?
was there a way to stop this feeling?


i don't think i have the answer to all the questions above ,
or maybe i does .
if it's an answer to all my questions up there ,
it's would b'cause i'm very hurts .





i hurt some much that i felt numb ,
to every words u said ,
to every sentences u made ,
to every excused u used ,
to every last thing u did to me .








but still ,
i say " it's nothing " although it was something .
i lied b'cause i don't want u to know
how much it's hurt me .



 
perhaps ,
this is the END of our stories ,
together .
but

therefore ,
i would walked away from all this " story of us " ,
and make a new one .
this time around it's gonna be " only me " in it .

me + no one .

there something that been bugging me ,
something that no one could ever understands .
its bout something that unease me within myself .


make me been misunderstood as a teenage .
perhaps this happen to all teenage but,
when i discuss it with someone ,
he/she seem to don't get it .
they just seem lost .

it just make me even worse .
worse and worse each time it appear in my heart .
it just won't go away ,
even with pills .


my heart kept tearin' apart ,
feeling lonely ,
unsecured ,
and anxiety of what might happen if . . . .
it just kept bugging me .



i start to question every thing i done ,
every move i make ,
every single thing i does in this world ,
just kept asking ,
'why am i live in this world if i don't have anyone to share it with?'




maybe i'm meant to be alone .
maybe i'm meant to be depressive .
maybe i'm meant to be love beggar .
maybe i'm meant to be hate .
maybe i'm meant to be no one .



the feeling exist in me maybe
b'cause am suited being alone ,
that none would ever noticed am here .
all by myself .
without anyone
by my-side .


something that people only know to talk bout ,
but don't felt it by their own .
something that people realize ,
but to late to understand .
something people wish they knew ,
but it over when they do .







lastly ,
am not a typical boy
that believe love is the answer to all my questions .
am just to tired being alone and ,
that's who i am actually .

Sorry for the INCOHERENT .

it just like yesterday that i felt love once more,
for some moment,
i really thought that we might be together ,
yet i jumped to the conclusion too early .

i just realize how much alike differ we're  ,
and i just can't say that i NEED you even when i do .
i just know that we can't be TOGETHER b'cause
we're not meant for each other and for that ,

this might happen to fast for both of us ,
we didn't know each other the best .
we didn't know each other well .
most important ,
we didn't know that love did exist between us and ,
its just went away in breeze air before we even know it .
b'cause of that ,

like taylor swift lyrics ,
' so many thing that i wish u knew but the story of us might be ending soon . ' but

i really hope that,
next time if we ever meet again,
we'll be friend first then next step
b'cause
 i can't handle another heartbreak once again .