the END .

in the end ,

we only regret the chances we didn't take 

the relationship we afraid to have

and the decisions we waited far too long to make .

- unknown author .

___________________________________________________

i realize it's too late to change your affection from him 

and i should have known that you will choose him instead

but i blinded by all your words and how you treated me .

it's just unfair to me 

to be the one whom always fallback from the triangle .

it's felt unfair to me

to be the one whom left out and let alone in dark .

it's totally unfair to me

when you started to make me believe in your words 

then left me without a word for him .

___________________________________________________

we have so many need in our lives ,

but at the end of the days

all we need is to be needed .

- unknown author .

everyone keeps telling us that dreams do come true

but they also forget to tell us

that some things are just

NOT MEANT TO BE .

thanks you for your times with me .

faith/love/promise?

if there a moment that can be rewind ,

i wished to go back to the moment when

i knew you for the first time,

so i can changed the fact that i can't live without you 

cause

and 
i DON'T GIVE A FUCK bout the distance ,
cause what really matter is you with me 
FOREVER .


___________________________________________________

for the time being ,
please believe me and have faith with what we have .

and i will make sure that you'll be loved by me only ,
no matter what its take to love you .


___________________________________________________

then you should know that

 Promises are worse than lies ,
because not only you made them believe in the possibilities
and you also gave them a glimpse of hope 
- unknown author .

what's really matter is ♥ .

there's a time

where i thought that something happens for a reason 

and the reason to happen weren't caused by me ,

i felt relieved and glad .

whom caused all the things that really precious for both of us ,

and its seem so hard for you to let it go by ,
to forgive me for my mistakes and chance to prove myself  .

then i knew that my words would be superfluous
even though I've tried to make things right again for us .

___________________________________________________


but did you ever remembered ,

the first promised that you made?

the one you stated that you will never hurt me .

then again 

and i felt for it .

just for you to know ,i lied because

i don't want you to know how much its hurt me .

___________________________________________________

at the ends of it,

what really matter is

and have the faith to do so when the time comes ,

appreciating you as it the last thing i would do

far most ,

to be deeply in love  with you .

and

___________________________________________________

just let it go .

" I'm happy for you ."

that is the hardest lie you ever told to a special someone from your past who found a new person to love .

___________________________________________________

a little something that i found
when i realize you have someone now
though i did tell you that " I LIKE YOU " so many times
when we 'talk' .

^ what i tried to learn and the one thing 
that keep me from being hopeless again .
but i just can't bare with the feeling i have for you .
one thing for sure is 
you don't have the same idea as i do  .

so,

i'm letting you go like you wanted but

there's something that i want you to know is . . .

a LITTLE faith .

it's been days since you 'talked' to me .
at first ,
it just felt like nothin' was wrong
and all seem in the right way
as you said ,
" everything will turns out okay in the end ."
but then ,

everything just out-off control
and everything i done was a mess .
things i does to kill time felt worthless
when i waited just for you to say the words .


i don't know what to think .
i just don't, though it's may not be the first time
i wish it's not the last .
i'm broken goods, that make me greats in words
but sucks in relationship,
i just don't want its to end .

i may be strong but deep inside ,
i'm just lonely lil'boy that want someone to be mine .
often i smiled like nothing's wrong
acted like everything in order
and remembered as it's was a dream .
in the end ,
i realize that i just can't forget and
willing to let it go though its been a while .

so,
i beg you to
let me in your arm
hold me tight and
never let me go
as for no matter what happen
in between us .

just AMAZING for me .

in the past few days ,
i met someone which is very interesting and have great personas .

seriously , i like that kinda type of people .
they tend to make our life's more cherish and colorful .

as we catch up to each other ,

we both realize that

the way we talk ,

the way we communicate ,

the way we see each other persona's just incredible .

and i never knew that i gonna make friend with 'someone' so fast .

this 'someone' just too amazing to be ignore .

for the moment , i thought that something is turning out right for me .

you're

therefore , can you

note from Lil'Heart

Since the first time i saw you,

i was petrified by 
sweet smile of yours,
that makes other envy .

The smile that 
vanish the unease of mind,
calm the tide of passion,
melt the coldness of heart,
and cherish the little life of mine .


your's smile are just too sincere,
the one without reason to be,
the one that superfluous than words ,
the only one shows true meaning of
serendipity of life .




as i love to see your smile every single days of mine,
sometimes its just not there .
as in the deepest parts of your heart,
your hid your's anxiety in life .




which make you unsure bout yourself ,
made you drowned in sea of misconceptions ,
threaten your root of beliefs ,
and led you to somewhere that even slightest sight of light can't pass through .

though i can't bare to see you live without soul as breath in lifeless air ,
i can't do anything as i wasn't the one ,
the one to look up upon ,
the one to be with ,
the one to fall in love with .


till this very day,
i just can only see you from far aside without being notice ,
and this feeling itself i kept a secret until the very moment
to let you know that
no matter how, what, and say bout you,
i'll always believe in you 
as i'll always love and like you for what you're .





one last thing i hopes from you is always to find a reasons to smile as
you're somebody's reason to smile .


P/S :

please hear me, dear GOD

make a midnight breeze that can 

blow off my feeling away ~
away from 

all this nonsense dreams,

all this silly thoughts,

and all this unwelcome imaginations .

please dear GOD,

let my dear midnight breeze,

to take me away,

as far away as it can go,

so i can learned 

to live freely unlike before,

to laugh for all the jokes that aren't funny to him,

to be touch by the warm love in my heart that was nothing to him,

and to able stand on my own without him by my side.

please dear GOD,

make my dear midnight breeze,

be my guidance,

to walk through the world.

be my path of life,

to overcome the obstacles.

be my last hope,

to save me from drowned in sea of sins.

please dear GOD,

let my dear midnight breeze ~

to take me away with it,

to the further side of the world,

where love is boundless and tender,

where joy is way of livings,

where laughter is a cure of  illnesses,

and where someone can rest assure without any doubtful thoughts.

Ooh GOD,

how i wish YOU can do all the thing i wishes for.

but it can't cause it's just a midnight breeze,

the one that pass through the night
regardless of anyone to notice it.

but one thing for sure,

it will always blow off my uneasiness with its delicate breeze.

perhaps that the only thing that it's able to do for like of me,dear GOD,

is to blow a delicate breeze of air that shove off all the problem in the world,

so no one will be burdensome by their problem too long.

that is how i want my dear midnight breeze to be know for.

this FEELING .

alone, neglected, sadness, ignorance,

 and all others feeling .

its felt like almost long time ago when i started to felt this  feeling again .

the feeling,

that bring out the worst of me.

the feeling,

that engulfing myself awareness.

the feeling,

that made me who i am today.

these are the very feeling,

that shown me the true side of human nature's .

_______________________________________________

to most people,

they just don't even tried 

to understand this feeling ,

to learn about it,

to acknowledge it,

to them,

its just a feeling that would gone away just by not thinking bout it .

but no!

it won't just gone away like that .

_______________________________________________

its a feeling which really hard to explain,

but easily felt within someone heart .

they might not even realize

how difficult it's to control this feeling ?

how bizarre this feeling is ?

how complicated to calm it by itself ?

soon they will realize something,

that they have never really lived

until they have done something for someone

who can't never repay for what they done .

so,

don't worry b'cause

everything will be alright in

the end .

If its not alright ,

its not the end .

perhaps its just only the beginning of your own story .

therefore,

don't let one dark cloud obliterate the whole sky .

and remember ,

people cry not b'cause they were weak .

it's just b'cause they've been strong too long .

let the feeling free from thee hearts and

learn from it then make its yours .

Only me .

i learned to forget the one who forgot me ,
i learned to forgive everyone who hurt me ,
i learned to be the best for every person i love ,
However ,there something can't be learnt which ,

must learned to SMILE when people LOVE others .

_________________________________________________________

simple quote that i favor the most .
there were some people 
said that is something wrong with me?
maybe there is .
perhaps i missed being miss ,
maybe that the reasons why .


Why i cried all night with no reason ,
Why i smiled when nobody there ,
Why i felt loneliness inside 'here' ,
Why i felt heavy burden when there isn't .


was there a way to pull out this feeling?
was there a way to kill this feeling?
was there a way to make it all right?
was there a way to stop this feeling?


i don't think i have the answer to all the questions above ,
or maybe i does .
if it's an answer to all my questions up there ,
it's would b'cause i'm very hurts .





i hurt some much that i felt numb ,
to every words u said ,
to every sentences u made ,
to every excused u used ,
to every last thing u did to me .








but still ,
i say " it's nothing " although it was something .
i lied b'cause i don't want u to know
how much it's hurt me .



 
perhaps ,
this is the END of our stories ,
together .
but

therefore ,
i would walked away from all this " story of us " ,
and make a new one .
this time around it's gonna be " only me " in it .

me + no one .

there something that been bugging me ,
something that no one could ever understands .
its bout something that unease me within myself .


make me been misunderstood as a teenage .
perhaps this happen to all teenage but,
when i discuss it with someone ,
he/she seem to don't get it .
they just seem lost .

it just make me even worse .
worse and worse each time it appear in my heart .
it just won't go away ,
even with pills .


my heart kept tearin' apart ,
feeling lonely ,
unsecured ,
and anxiety of what might happen if . . . .
it just kept bugging me .



i start to question every thing i done ,
every move i make ,
every single thing i does in this world ,
just kept asking ,
'why am i live in this world if i don't have anyone to share it with?'




maybe i'm meant to be alone .
maybe i'm meant to be depressive .
maybe i'm meant to be love beggar .
maybe i'm meant to be hate .
maybe i'm meant to be no one .



the feeling exist in me maybe
b'cause am suited being alone ,
that none would ever noticed am here .
all by myself .
without anyone
by my-side .


something that people only know to talk bout ,
but don't felt it by their own .
something that people realize ,
but to late to understand .
something people wish they knew ,
but it over when they do .







lastly ,
am not a typical boy
that believe love is the answer to all my questions .
am just to tired being alone and ,
that's who i am actually .

Sorry for the INCOHERENT .

it just like yesterday that i felt love once more,
for some moment,
i really thought that we might be together ,
yet i jumped to the conclusion too early .

i just realize how much alike differ we're  ,
and i just can't say that i NEED you even when i do .
i just know that we can't be TOGETHER b'cause
we're not meant for each other and for that ,

this might happen to fast for both of us ,
we didn't know each other the best .
we didn't know each other well .
most important ,
we didn't know that love did exist between us and ,
its just went away in breeze air before we even know it .
b'cause of that ,

like taylor swift lyrics ,
' so many thing that i wish u knew but the story of us might be ending soon . ' but

i really hope that,
next time if we ever meet again,
we'll be friend first then next step
b'cause
 i can't handle another heartbreak once again .

be mine again,please?

its has been long time sine the day i meet u .
actually, i never knew how was ur face look it,
what ur favorite color,
what on ur mind,
and so much more i don't know bout u ,
but something for sure i know is there is . . .

 

i so in love with u even though i never knew u that much ,

i just know ur name, ur birthday , and above all,

i know when is our lil' ANNIVERSARY .

the day i know u is the happiest day of my life .
i start to love u since then,
start to love u,
start to miss u,
start to like u,
start to need u,
most sweetest thing is start to be yours .

but there something that keep bothering me,

were i'm perfect for u?
were i'm good enough for u?
were i'm the one for u?
far most,were i meant for u?

later i realize that we're to differ from each other,
but people do said that 'differences make perfect couple'.

it seem they were wrong after all when u left me

clueless, questioning, thinking, wandering 
in this cruel set of world alone .







ever since,i been searching for u n our love ,
even though its like worthless to find something that lose it's light
but  i never give up even for a moment .
because of that, i never found anyone that love me as u do .

until the fated day,

i will always look for u .



this is dedicated to someone that really meant a lot to me .
hope that this person saw this.

Who's ur FREINDS actually(?)

hey yaa fellow !!
now its rainy seasons at my place,
well,actually this state rains a lot,i tell yaa . . .
seem the clouds were "crying" all day here.
no one to persuade him to stop crying i guess?!

today's topic is FAKER as friends.
its seem to be a trends in my place,here at @#&$*!~% .
i never knew that tis culture have been spreadin' worldwide?!
Hahahaa, just kidding,i knew its as long as live in tis miserable world (!)
tis so called bitches were the first group of people i met here.








at first,they were quite a friend,
everything we're doin' TOGETHER (!)
nothing was left behind.
until one day,
they decided to let me wandered in their own words,
as am an outsider in their group which not really IMPORTANT.

I DON'T MINDS(?) actually but,
what really annoyed me is they seem HAPPY doin' so to others as well.
tis caught my attentions to write tis post.



hey,so stuck'd-up bitch !
please look deep inside of ur heart,
opss! seem  don't have one as u keep fooling around with ur story(!)
we don't need u as our friends as u bitchin' around.



hell yes!!
served u right in the face if someday u'll be abandoned by ur so called BFF's.
truth is tis post was actually tell us to pick up real friends,
as we move along the phases of our life.

and as i write,
we have to realize that it becomes less important
to have more friends,
but more important to have REAL ones.


so,CHOOSE ur's smartly cause
they might will help u in time of needs.



















today's quote,

whre i belong to ?

a simple hey to greet all of u,



its seem that i haven't posted anythng since get a chance to further my study.
well, as u know it . .
i just want to be a simple person in this world and dedicate my life for something really specials n dear to myself. FULLSTOP !!

enough bout me,
there something that really bother me . . .
something bout someplace whre we can share and love everyone or anyone that we cherish with.

i been searchin' for tis place since i knew the meaning being love and to be loved.
quite fascinating to me bout how bout u guy's?
would u'll like a place whre we can life fully with our heart with out any concern bout others??

therefore,
i'll tell u whre the place is . .  .

yeah,
actually the place is in my heart . .
i don't realize it until someone dear to me say tis,
" it's COURAGE to follow ur mind, but its take everything to follow ur HEART. "

at first i don't get it,
but later that day,i seem to get it . . .
we doesn't need people to get to know ourselves,
we actually just need a time of our own.

then i found 'that' place in my heart,
there is nothing but loneliness and heartbroken inside.
maybe that's why am all alone in tis world,
cause i don't get to know myself before knowin' others.

so,
here am tellin; u'll thats knowin urself is the key to ur own happiness !

today's quote,
" Broken hearts don't have to die, it just need LOVE to comeback alive. "